Very funny mario review

Whilst i was searching across the web for new super mario bros reviews i came across this rather funny one here it is.

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STR Review: Super Mario Galaxy
December 10th, 2007 | Category: Fetishes, Gay Agenda, Our Children

STR readers who were kids during the 1980s might remember the ?Super Mario Brothers Super-Show?, back then one of the most bizarre Saturday morning shows. What many of you may not know is that this hyper-frenetic kids TV show was was turned into a series of video games that became somewhat popular in Japan.

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Former champ wrestler “Captain” Lou Albano still makes a living by providing the voice of Nintendo’s Mario. Only the crazy Japanese could have been inspired to make a game from Lou’s crazy ideas!

Nintendo must be running out of ideas because this years’s over-hyped game is a return to Lou Albano’s psychedelic drug-fueled ?World of Mario?.

Nintendo have chosen this mediocre game as the subject of a multi million dollar advertising campaign. They intend to promote their red-capped plumber to a new generation of kids, but is that going to be enough to tempt kids away from Madden and some of the season’s excellent sporting titles.Super Mario Galaxy for Nintendo’s budget-price Wii console is basically a re-hashing of their 1991 ?classic? Super Mario Sunshine, in fact astute readers will notice that it shares exactly the same plot!

This is hardly likely to be a problem for Nintendo because almost nobody who has played the previous generation of Mario’s antics will be young enough to consider buying this ‘re-booted’ Mario.

As with all of Mario’s games, the story is simple and largely irrelevant to the action: Mario’s girlfriend ?Princess Peach? has been once-again kidnapped by ?Bowser?, a satanic, spiked dragon-like demon. Rather than inform the relevant authorities, Mr Mario sets out as a sort of vigilante in order to rescue his beloved.

In order to rescue Peach the red-capped plumber has to collect satanic pentagrams, mis-translated as ?power-stars? with which Mario intends to increase his own demonic power to rival Bowser’s. These pentagrams are scattered around a number of ?galaxies? through which Mario must battle his way in order to retrieve. Pentagrams are rewarded for taking risks, performing stunts or acts of aggression

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Troubling: Pentagrams like these are the object of Mario’s quest. The Japanise occultists who provided the inspiration for Mario’s galaxy clearly believed that kids would be more likely to believe in it if they made the occult symbols cute.

Mario is an excessively violent game: Mario must defeat a series of enemies by slamming into them, attacking them with a hammer, incinerating them or by jumping on their heads. I hate to think what might happen if impressionable liberal teens try to imitate Mario’s preposterous acrobatics. A game this violent should certainly come with stern disclaimers.

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I downloaded this image from a teen Mario fan’s web-site. “Powned” is hacker slang for “murdered”. The child is throwing a red igloo and an unidentified device at the girl - an all too familiar picture of liberal on liberal game-related violence. Anybody who thinks that video games do not encourage violence should look at this image and think hard.

The bad news does not end there: Assisting Mario and his brother Wario is a cohort of drug-peddling ?Lumas? - star like beings who provide Mario with magic-mushroom like power-ups which in typical RPG style enhance his fighting ability.

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The most valuable commodity the Lumas sell are ?star-bits? - the World of Mario equivalent of crack-cocaine. In my extensive play-testing of this game I counted over sixty overt references to drug-taking or drug culture. Do you really want your kids indoctrinated into the culture of instant gratification?Could it get any worse you ask? How about the occult? In one particularly horrific level Mario is forced to transform himself into a phantom. In this guise Mario can commune with other evil spirits, something that is expressly forbidden according to God’s law. What are Nintendo trying to tell us? That demonology is good, or that kids should study the occult as a means to grow more powerful? This is the unfortunate message that kids will take from Super Mario’s game.

Bottom line: Super Mario galaxy is a game that will most likely appeal to pre-teens and color-blind imbeciles. Younger players will not notice it’s absurd and wildly inconsistent plot. Adults (with the exception of nappy-fetishists) will find it’s childish style off-putting.

Parenting Advice: ShelleyTheRepublican recommends that families avoid this game on account of in the unlikely case that your local suppliers decide to stock it. As an alternative you should consider the excellent ?Left Behind: Eternal Forces?, which is a 100% Christian game which unlike Mario teaches essential life-skills which will be of value if your child is unfortunately not raptured.

Jimmy Goddard

Original page: http://www.shelleytherepublican.com/category/our-children

It has lots of other insanley out of proportion blogs such as "The Danger of Lollipops - Conditioning young Girls to perform ORAL SEX!" Where they won't even let the fifteen year old girl suck on a lolly pop.

I personarilly think it's bonkers, i mean mario uses satanic pentagons to power up his satanic powers to match bowsers?

Post your thoughts.

THIS is why I fuckin' hate every Christian retard on the face of the Earth like this.


God is fake, and the Catholic Church just wants money; how could people be so fuckin' stupid.


I mean, fuckin' retards take everything out of proportion and blow it up into fuckin' Christian shit. Sure, "The Bible" might have some moral things that you should do when you take it out of context, but that whole book is astrology.

If you disagree with me, at least view these:
Video 1
Video 2

Fun facts they overlooked:

1) Mario was created by Shigeru Miyamoto, not “Captain” Lou Albano.

2) Wario is not, in fact, Mario's brother.

3) Super Mario Sunshine is not a "classic," but itself, a remake of a classic (that being Super Mario 64)

4) Lumas are, in fact, not drugs or anything of the type and so far have only appeared in Super Mario Galaxy.

5) They're damned retarded if they think any game won't be enough to tempt you over playing a Madden game.


But yeah, once they said that the stars are actually pentagrams I knew where this was going. Extremist Christians. They're hilarious. Annoying, but hilarious.

Oh, and speaking of Extremist Christians and since this is, in fact (my catch-phrase for this post), a Pokemon forum, then please feel free to check out this page. This isn't even the page I wanted to show you, but it's good as well. Basically, there's a bunch of people out there who still to this day believe that Pokemon is the Anti-Christ.

There are tons of sites just like those. Sometimes I look for them for fun. Try not to die laughing

Edit: Ben. Not all Christians are like that. Take me for example The Catholic sect of Christianity often gets a bad rep. because they do tend to swing that way, though. But then again, most Catholics only go to church on Christmas and Easter.

Also! Something to point out about the people who write this smut. They obviously don't realize how completely ignorant they're being, but also look at how racist they are to the Japanese. The people who write this crap are just super religious Bible-humping white boy/girl Extremist Christians who think they're so much better than everyone else and that everyone else is going to Hell for any and every reason.

PCG520 wrote:

THIS is why I fuckin' hate every Christian retard on the face of the Earth like this.

Agreed, the article writer is freakin' stupid, but you can't paint all Christians with the same brush. Most of my video-gamer friends are Christian, some of them fairly religious, so meh. I'm agnostic, meself.

I love how we're all taking this way too seriously

But on a semi-anti-video-game-discussion-related note: LULZ!!!

It's a little dated now, but by no means any less funny.

I know that not all christians are tards like these because my x-gf was a christian (not catholic) and she wasn't all anti mario and beleiving the pokemon was a brainwashing anti-christ grooming material.

I just think extreme christians are such hypocritic *!%@'s

Seriously who can beleive a statement like this;

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So Ash sets out again in search for more of the reclusive, power-filled, little Pokemon. His first step is to find the "psychic Pokemon" called Kadabra and snatch it from its telepathic, pink-eyed trainer, Sabrina. With the ghost Haunter on his side, it should be a cinch!

But Ash had underestimated the power of his opponent. When he and Sabrina meet for the battle, both hurl their chosen Pokemon into the air, but only Kadabra evolves into a super-monster with a magic flash. Haunter hides. "Looks like your ghost Pokemon got spooked," taunts Sabrina.

Obviously, Ash didn't understand the supernatural powers he had confronted. Neither do most young Pokeman fans today. Unless they know God and His warnings, they cannot understand the forces that have captivated children around the world. And if parents underestimate the psychological strategies behind its seductive mass marketing ploys, they are likely to dismiss the Pokemon craze as harmless fun and innocent fantasy. In reality, the problem is far more complex.

Anyone who does must have some serious problems.